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ellipses
Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 9218
Location: WashPa!
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 Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:08 pm Post subject: Limericks |
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I wavered on starting this thread, because it is just asking for inappropriateness... but I can't help myself... AND, I think that a bunch of limericks with bleeped out words might be MORE hilarious than the full on R-rated versions.
Here's the rules... if a word needs censored, censor the WHOLE word... none of that letter substitution stuff...
There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a dead ***** in a cave
She smelled like **** and had only one ***
But think of all the money he saved!
And... uh... Oh who am I kidding, I don't expect this to be on here long 
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ellipses
Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 9218
Location: WashPa!
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:09 pm Post subject: |
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I knew maid who cleaned high-rises
Who had **** of two different sizes
One was quite small, nearly nothing at all
But the other was huge and won prizes
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ellipses
Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 9218
Location: WashPa!
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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A woman from South Caroliner
Laced fiddle strings 'cross her ******
With proper sized *****
What was once sex became Bach's
Toccatta and Fugue in D-minor
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Cylinsier
Master
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 13229
Location: Oh shi-
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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There once was a thread about rhymes
The idea seemed good at the time
But each rhyme was offensive
and the mods became pensive
Because saying ****, ****, and **** is a crime!
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ellipses
Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 9218
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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Twas once a vampire named Mable
Whose ************ was heavy and stable
By the light of the moon
And the help of a spoon
She once drank herself under the table
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ellipses
Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 9218
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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There once was a man from Racine
Who invented a ******* machine.
Both concave and convex,
It would fit either sex,
With attachments for those in between.
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ellipses
Mod
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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The story of a girl from Dundee
Who was ****** by an ape in a tree
The result was quite horrid
All *** and no forehead
6 ***** and a purple goatee
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SSSS
Journeyman
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Posts: 3753
Location: Wash PA
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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There once was a man named McNair
Who was ******* his girl on the stair
When on the last stroke
The bannister broke
And he finished her off in the air!
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Cylinsier
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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There once was a **** named ******
Who **** ***** and **** *******
He **** ****** a ****
And he ******* **** *******
So he **** **** ****** *** *** ****
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ellipses
Mod
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:42 pm Post subject: |
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I lol'd
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OndinitaAKALibchit
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Location: Where the sun don't shine! ;-)
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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I lol'd too! One of my co-workers actually came into my office to ask what was so funny! 
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Cylinsier
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:54 pm Post subject: |
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There are actually real words that go there. They don't make any contextual sense, but they're real.
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dick
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Joined: 28 Jan 2009
Posts: 3134
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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I'm gonna have to remember some of those. Cy's was definitely clever.
| OndinitaAKALibchit wrote: | | I lol'd too! One of my co-workers actually came into my office to ask what was so funny! |
My wife and I were on a walk with our dog last night and asked what I was laughing at. I was thinking about phony posting that crazy UFO website and connecting it to Obama.
This is a wonderful place.
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OndinitaAKALibchit
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Cylinsier wrote: | | There are actually real words that go there. They don't make any contextual sense, but they're real. |
Kinda like the stuff Phony types...
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"If by a 'Liberal' they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties ... if that is what they mean by a 'Liberal,' then I’m proud to say I’m a 'Liberal.'" ~ Senator John F. Kennedy 9/14/1960
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Cylinsier
Master
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Posts: 13229
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| Posted: Tue Dec 08, 2009 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, except he doesn't have the decency to star them out and save us the headache.
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