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SSSS
Journeyman
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Posts: 3753
Location: Wash PA
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 Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:03 am Post subject: This might clear things up! |
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Conservative Vs Liberal
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands everyone know it & legislative legitimacy.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders what government program is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, especially islam, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his thru the government.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
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Cylinsier
Master
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 13229
Location: Oh shi-
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:07 am Post subject: |
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Did Glenn Beck write this? Its at his level of quality.
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Brant
Admin
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 5277
Location: Hopewell Township
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:13 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, that's pretty much the biggest steaming pile of horse dung I've seen in ages. Talk about stupid generalizations.
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Amphikalein
Journeyman
Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Posts: 3177
Location: Corrales, NM
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:28 am Post subject: |
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Well it certainly clears up any lingering questions that may exist about whether tetriS' brand of humor should be classed with Phony's brand of logic.
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"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." ~Martin Luther King Jr.
"May we, in our dealings with all the peoples of the earth, ever speak the truth and serve justice." ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
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OndinitaAKALibchit
Journeyman
Joined: 05 Oct 2009
Posts: 3883
Location: Where the sun don't shine! ;-)
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:37 am Post subject: |
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| Brant wrote: | | Yeah, that's pretty much the biggest steaming pile of horse dung I've seen in ages. Talk about stupid generalizations. |
I agree...
The town hall meetings, Wilson, etc all just the latest examples of how tolerant most conservatives are and how well they deal with opposing views.
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"If by a 'Liberal' they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties ... if that is what they mean by a 'Liberal,' then I’m proud to say I’m a 'Liberal.'" ~ Senator John F. Kennedy 9/14/1960
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blackballed
Professional
Joined: 15 Feb 2009
Posts: 1510
Location: north to south
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:45 am Post subject: |
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| great point ssss.nothing but the truth whoever wrote it.BB |
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Brant
Admin
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 5277
Location: Hopewell Township
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:13 am Post subject: |
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Pfffffft!!!
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phonyfeminazi
Expert
Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Posts: 7819
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:15 am Post subject: Re: This might clear things up! |
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| SSSS wrote: | Conservative Vs Liberal
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands everyone know it & legislative legitimacy.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders what government program is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, especially islam, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his thru the government.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended". |
SSSS, I love it......it depicts LIBCHITISM to a "T".......
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dick
Journeyman
Joined: 28 Jan 2009
Posts: 3134
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:34 am Post subject: |
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Once again, these emails always prove that I'm actually a conservative.
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Its okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings.
Puff. Puff. Give. |
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ellipses
Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 9218
Location: WashPa!
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:41 am Post subject: |
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| dick wrote: | | Once again, these emails always prove that I'm actually a conservative. |
LoL... at least 2/3 of those make me a conservative by virtue of my ACTUAL actions...
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Cylinsier
Master
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 13229
Location: Oh shi-
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:47 am Post subject: Re: This might clear things up! |
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Okay, I have a few minutes and I'm feeling frisky.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. |
This is a logical fallacy in which the word "like" is used to mean the same thing when it really means two different things. In the first sentence, "like" means "enjoy recreationally." In the second, "like" means "desire to see exist." If a Republican thought that guns should not exist, he would also be in favor of outlawing them. Its just that Republicans never think that way because of a host of other reasons.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. |
Except for maybe the mostly insanely staunch members of PETA, I've have never heard of anyone EVER saying meat should be outlawed for everyone. This is just stupid.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. |
A lie, plain and simple. An extension of a popular conservative joke inspired by machismo.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands everyone know it & legislative legitimacy. |
Many liberal homosexuals remain in the closest. Also, I challenge you to find a conservative homosexual who is out who doesn't want to be considered equal to others. I'd love to meet him.
| SSSS wrote: | If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection. |
This one applies political labels to a situation where they make no sense or at the least implies that being a conservative will make you successful, which is totally false. The statement should say "a minority who is successful thinks of himself as successful while a minority who does not seeks aid." That would be a potentially true observation.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders what government program is going to take care of him. |
I actually have some extended family on welfare. They get by by having a new kid every couple of years so they can claim more benefits. They voted for McCain and are staunch Republicans. true story.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down. |
I assume this is in reference to the likes of Beck. Don't mistake thinking someone is a total moron for thinking he should be taken off the air. With the exception of a few journalists who themselves crave attention, no one is saying these people should be taken off the air. At least not any more so than conservatives say the same about Olbermann, Matthews, Maddow, et al.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, especially islam, of course!) |
For the most part, non-believers simply don't want religion forced into their lives. They don't care if other people are religious, they don't want to hear about it is all. Kind of like how conservatives don't want to hear about what gay people do (and wouldn't have to if they'd just give them the right to marry). I really doubt that political affiliation has anything to do with this one.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his thru the government. |
Bull. People who can afford health care buy it regardless of political leaning. Conservatives who make this above argument are typically older and on medicare, meaning we are paying for them through the government.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues. |
Another one that has no basis in political leaning.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended". |
I'm offended by what a poor attempt at humor this list is.
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phonyfeminazi
Expert
Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Posts: 7819
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:53 am Post subject: Re: This might clear things up! |
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| Cylinsier wrote: | Okay, I have a few minutes and I'm feeling frisky.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. |
This is a logical fallacy in which the word "like" is used to mean the same thing when it really means two different things. In the first sentence, "like" means "enjoy recreationally." In the second, "like" means "desire to see exist." If a Republican thought that guns should not exist, he would also be in favor of outlawing them. Its just that Republicans never think that way because of a host of other reasons.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. |
Except for maybe the mostly insanely staunch members of PETA, I've have never heard of anyone EVER saying meat should be outlawed for everyone. This is just stupid.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. |
A lie, plain and simple. An extension of a popular conservative joke inspired by machismo.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands everyone know it & legislative legitimacy. |
Many liberal homosexuals remain in the closest. Also, I challenge you to find a conservative homosexual who is out who doesn't want to be considered equal to others. I'd love to meet him.
| SSSS wrote: | If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection. |
This one applies political labels to a situation where they make no sense or at the least implies that being a conservative will make you successful, which is totally false. The statement should say "a minority who is successful thinks of himself as successful while a minority who does not seeks aid." That would be a potentially true observation.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders what government program is going to take care of him. |
I actually have some extended family on welfare. They get by by having a new kid every couple of years so they can claim more benefits. They voted for McCain and are staunch Republicans. true story.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down. |
I assume this is in reference to the likes of Beck. Don't mistake thinking someone is a total moron for thinking he should be taken off the air. With the exception of a few journalists who themselves crave attention, no one is saying these people should be taken off the air. At least not any more so than conservatives say the same about Olbermann, Matthews, Maddow, et al.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, especially islam, of course!) |
For the most part, non-believers simply don't want religion forced into their lives. They don't care if other people are religious, they don't want to hear about it is all. Kind of like how conservatives don't want to hear about what gay people do (and wouldn't have to if they'd just give them the right to marry). I really doubt that political affiliation has anything to do with this one.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his thru the government. |
Bull. People who can afford health care buy it regardless of political leaning. Conservatives who make this above argument are typically older and on medicare, meaning we are paying for them through the government.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues. |
Another one that has no basis in political leaning.
| SSSS wrote: | If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended". |
I'm offended by what a poor attempt at humor this list is. |
ABOMB!, IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE HUMOR......IT IS SOMETHING FOREIGN TO YOU LIBCHITS.......THE TRUTH.
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Exposing the secular humanist liberal "progressives". |
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Cylinsier
Master
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 13229
Location: Oh shi-
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:59 am Post subject: |
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Here's a tip, phony. If you look around everywhere and only see chit you don't like, then maybe its time to pull your head out of your azz.
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ellipses
Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008
Posts: 9218
Location: WashPa!
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 12:00 pm Post subject: |
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And it's clearly not...
I'm a vegetarian... I'm sure you consider me a liberal...
I'd NEVER consider even entertaining the thought of outlawing meat...
Do we have to go through each one line by line again?
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SSSS
Journeyman
Joined: 13 Oct 2008
Posts: 3753
Location: Wash PA
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| Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 12:01 pm Post subject: |
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Seriously you guys have to get counseling for this Glenn Beck fixation you have. Are you starting to dream about him at night also?
I guess I have to put a disclaimer on all posts that this is from ME and not Glenn Beck.
And except for the homosexual reference, I agree wth everything in this piece.
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