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busdriver Journeyman
Joined: 16 Mar 2009 Posts: 3497
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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Brant wrote: | Bus, loved the neologisms, but I have to tell you that the other stuff is urban legend material. That old chestnut supposedly by T.B. Bechtel has been attributed to elected officials from Florida to Texas to, apparently, across the world in Australia. Captain Kangaroo, while a lovely fellow, was not a war hero, and Mister Rogers never served a day in the military. But they're good stories. |
Got that from a good source but i usually "Snope's" them out, my mistake, so sorry.
http://www.snopes.com/military/celebrities/leemarvin.asp |
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Brant Admin
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 5277 Location: Hopewell Township
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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No problem. I like to go Snopesing. _________________
The priests of the different religious sects dread the advance of science as witches do the approach of daylight.
- Thomas Jefferson |
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busdriver Journeyman
Joined: 16 Mar 2009 Posts: 3497
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:11 am Post subject: |
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DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING!
Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is
a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid
twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a
man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be
Lebanese?
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and
Violence On My VCR?
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even
sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been
on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my
boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough
to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and
when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything - and said it
would never happen again.
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who
was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how
do I get out?
Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00
an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months, and I didn't know
he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered - I think she is going
through mental pause.
Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in
sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in
sex - and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Remember these people can vote...
______________________ |
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Brant Admin
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 5277 Location: Hopewell Township
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:13 am Post subject: |
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Good stuff. _________________
The priests of the different religious sects dread the advance of science as witches do the approach of daylight.
- Thomas Jefferson |
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amom Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 2753 Location: You can't get here from there
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Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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Something for Ondi:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/games/cebd/
Sorry, but I keep getting catalogs and they are just too cool not to share. _________________ -amom
"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
- Will Rogers |
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busdriver Journeyman
Joined: 16 Mar 2009 Posts: 3497
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:35 am Post subject: |
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The Lone Ranger's
Last Request
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.
The Indian Chief proclaims,
"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ...
"In honour of the Harvest Festival,
YOU will be executed in three days.."
"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request???'
The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with
a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits
he's impressed..
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request???"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak
to his horse.
Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Rangers tent
and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief
is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"
"But I will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request ???"
The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees,
and Silver is brought to
the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
"READ MY LIPS!!!!"
FOR... THE.... LAST... TIME...
"BRING POSSE" |
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busdriver Journeyman
Joined: 16 Mar 2009 Posts: 3497
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busdriver Journeyman
Joined: 16 Mar 2009 Posts: 3497
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Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2010 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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I know this is how the guys here get treated at home.(especially phoney)
I hope you girls know your place here too, especially you ONDI.
http://www.funpages.com/goodwifes/ |
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Amphikalein Journeyman
Joined: 10 Oct 2008 Posts: 3177 Location: Corrales, NM
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Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2010 8:17 pm Post subject: My favorite actual 'Dear Abby' letter/answer |
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Dear Abby:
About four months ago, the house across the street was sold to a "father and son"---or so we thought. We later learned it was an older man about 50 and a young fellow about 24.
This was a respectable neighborhood before this "odd couple" moved in. They have all sorts of strange looking company. Men who look like women and women who look like men, blacks, whites, Indians, and yesterday I even saw two nuns go in there.
They must be running some kind of business or a club. There are motorcycles, expensive sports cars, and even bicycles parked in front and on the lawn. They keep their shades drawn so you can't see what going on inside but they must be up to no good, or why the secrecy?
We called the police department and they asked if we wanted to press charges! They said unless the neighbors were breaking some law there was nothing they could do.
Abby, these weirdos are wrecking our property values! How can we improve the quality of this once-respected neighborhood?
--- UP IN ARMS
Dear UP:
You could move. _________________ "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." ~Martin Luther King Jr.
"May we, in our dealings with all the peoples of the earth, ever speak the truth and serve justice." ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
Amphy's blog | Proud Member NDA |
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Amphikalein Journeyman
Joined: 10 Oct 2008 Posts: 3177 Location: Corrales, NM
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Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 8:56 am Post subject: |
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Okay, i apologize in advance for this one. Believe it or not, i got it from a priest:
Quote: | A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand..
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.
A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac
with a small butt, 36DD's;
who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
The End |
_________________ "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." ~Martin Luther King Jr.
"May we, in our dealings with all the peoples of the earth, ever speak the truth and serve justice." ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
Amphy's blog | Proud Member NDA |
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Brant Admin
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 5277 Location: Hopewell Township
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Posted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 9:48 am Post subject: |
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Thank you both for the laughs. _________________
The priests of the different religious sects dread the advance of science as witches do the approach of daylight.
- Thomas Jefferson |
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