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busdriver
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to aHoliday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read these tips and start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO, what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!!
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amom
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bus, These are the best rules ever! I could live by them easily. Laughing
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wish I could live by them. Our stove broke just in time for christmas and we are hosting. Crying or Very sad
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ARRGHH! So, have each of your guests bring one menu item. Maybe? Either that or find someone to cater...no matter what you spend, it's cheaper than a new stove. We host Christmas Eve...don't know what I'd do without a stove, besides panic.
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, everyone's coming from out of town so they won't be able to bring anything. But we rent, so the landlord is the one who is going to have to replace it, not us.
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OndinitaAKALibchit
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Definitely best rules ever, Bus!
Cy---I had the same problem a couple of years ago & I was freaking out. Thankfully, Boston Market came to the rescue! It was affordable & delicious!
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Brant
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bus, I think you have provided me with a new motto. Wink Laughing
Cy, I have often thought about how easy it would be to get the prepared holiday dinner from THE Giant Eagle. I mentioned it recently to someone who had done so, and they said it was very good, but you'd still have to reheat the stuff. Microwave could probably handle that. Good luck.
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Cylinsier
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, we've talked about both BM and GE. Not sure what the plan will be yet, though. Luckily, we hadn't yet bought all our provisions before the oven broke.
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busdriver
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cylinsier wrote:
I wish I could live by them. Our stove broke just in time for christmas and we are hosting. Crying or Very sad


I feel for you Cy, once we bought a NEW stove and were having a baptism party for our new born son.

Just family and a few friends, 10-15 people. had a roast, ham, and stuffed cabbages ready to cook and the darn oven would not work.

Lucky I hooked up the old stove in the basement and we were able to get it all done and avoid a mess.

Called the store Monday to tell them about it and the guy asked," is the control on "AUTO" or Manual", the oven doesn't work on manual.

Lesson here is "WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS"
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So they sold you an oven with a control setting that would make it not work? Why is that setting even there?
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Cylinsier
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The stove has been repaired!
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OndinitaAKALibchit
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crisis averted!!! Woot, woot!!!!
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 10:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cylinsier wrote:
The stove has been repaired!


Did it just need to be plugged in? Laughing
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OndinitaAKALibchit
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm loving this mean streak, amom! Laughing
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busdriver
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 6:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cylinsier wrote:
So they sold you an oven with a control setting that would make it not work? Why is that setting even there?


Beats the hell out of me, thats why I never even considered a thing like "manual". That was 40 years ago and never did use it.
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