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busdriver Journeyman
Joined: 16 Mar 2009 Posts: 3497
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:00 pm Post subject: funny stuff |
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There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word,
and that word is 'UP.'
It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?
Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends and we use ! it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this up is confusing:
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.We seem to be pretty mixed UPabout UP !
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more..
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now .........my time is UP , so time to shut UP!
Oh...one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
U P
Send this on to everyone you look up in your address book.
Now I'll shut up |
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SSSS Journeyman
Joined: 13 Oct 2008 Posts: 3753 Location: Wash PA
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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love it. _________________
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Cylinsier Master
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 13229 Location: Oh shi-
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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I can think of a four letter word that has many more uses than that two letter word. If you see kay, she'll tell you what it is. _________________ The end is nigh! OR forums die APRIL 1. Don't lose contact! Join the forums at bogsource.com now! |
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ellipses Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 9218 Location: WashPa!
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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Cylinsier wrote: | If you see kay |
I've never heard this before! _________________ The end is nigh! OR forums die APRIL 1. Don't lose contact! Join the forums at bogsource.com now! |
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Cylinsier Master
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 13229 Location: Oh shi-
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:39 pm Post subject: |
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I hope you're being sarcastic. _________________ The end is nigh! OR forums die APRIL 1. Don't lose contact! Join the forums at bogsource.com now! |
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ellipses Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 9218 Location: WashPa!
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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No... I am serious... I have never heard that little word game phrase thing... pun, I guess _________________ The end is nigh! OR forums die APRIL 1. Don't lose contact! Join the forums at bogsource.com now! |
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Cylinsier Master
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 13229 Location: Oh shi-
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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Reeeally? I'm impressed. _________________ The end is nigh! OR forums die APRIL 1. Don't lose contact! Join the forums at bogsource.com now! |
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OndinitaAKALibchit Journeyman
Joined: 05 Oct 2009 Posts: 3883 Location: Where the sun don't shine! ;-)
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:21 am Post subject: |
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This is funny, Bus!!! _________________ "If by a 'Liberal' they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people — their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties ... if that is what they mean by a 'Liberal,' then I’m proud to say I’m a 'Liberal.'" ~ Senator John F. Kennedy 9/14/1960
Proud Member NDA |
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freethinker Professional
Joined: 27 Sep 2009 Posts: 1352 Location: hardback chair
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:16 am Post subject: |
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I believe you.
so,
eff uu c Kay.
tell her I love her _________________ where-ever you get it - there you have it. - Anon. |
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busdriver Journeyman
Joined: 16 Mar 2009 Posts: 3497
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:40 am Post subject: |
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[quote="SSSS"]love it.[/quo
After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said:
'Let me see if I've got this right.
'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.
'You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride..
'You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.
'You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.
'You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
'You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.
'You want me to do all this and then you tell me. . . I CAN'T PRAY? te] |
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busdriver Journeyman
Joined: 16 Mar 2009 Posts: 3497
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:43 am Post subject: |
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Signs You've Grown Up
1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a-one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
17. Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than
settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy
test kits.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you |
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Cylinsier Master
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 13229 Location: Oh shi-
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:57 am Post subject: |
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busdriver wrote: | 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.' |
I was never that young. _________________ The end is nigh! OR forums die APRIL 1. Don't lose contact! Join the forums at bogsource.com now! |
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Amphikalein Journeyman
Joined: 10 Oct 2008 Posts: 3177 Location: Corrales, NM
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:25 am Post subject: |
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Why do we park in driveways but drive on parkways? _________________ "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." ~Martin Luther King Jr.
"May we, in our dealings with all the peoples of the earth, ever speak the truth and serve justice." ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
Amphy's blog | Proud Member NDA |
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amom Mod
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 2753 Location: You can't get here from there
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:28 am Post subject: |
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? _________________ -amom
"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
- Will Rogers |
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Cylinsier Master
Joined: 29 Sep 2008 Posts: 13229 Location: Oh shi-
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Posted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:32 am Post subject: |
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The government of course. _________________ The end is nigh! OR forums die APRIL 1. Don't lose contact! Join the forums at bogsource.com now! |
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